before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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