i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
