I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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