I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
