i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
