ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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