Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
