so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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