Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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