I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize