when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize