if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
