at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
