I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
