i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
