is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
