i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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