I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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