Having a random hookup so left but love u
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
