I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
