And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
