i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
