I got chris browned last night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
