I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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