you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
