We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
