"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
