he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Randomize
