actually, I'm a sock model
you will always have a special place in my vag
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
