He had one of those small greek statue penises
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
