I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
