i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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