I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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