Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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