I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
