the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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