she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
