Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just threw up on my dentist
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
