TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
