no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
