No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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