I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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