Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize