weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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