She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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