Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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