Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
