After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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