How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize