Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
