worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
