Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
there is glitter all over my balls
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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