Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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