you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
