We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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