And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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