They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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