I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
