Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
