I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Alive.
So much puke
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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