I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
