he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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