i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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