Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
